Thursday, September 11, 2014

My lobster ❤️

My husband Chris is my lobster. I love him with all of my heart and was so lucky to have him come into my life when I needed him the most. 

I have had boyfriends on and off since I was very young. Some good, some bad, some indifferent. In high school I really struggled with knowing my worth and having a really low self esteem, depression and anxiety issues but with a cheery exterior to try and cover what was really going on inside. I was lied to, I was cheated on and just overall had my kindness taken advantage of on more than one occasion. 

College years I continued to struggle and go for the wrong type of guys that would let me down time and time again and break my heart. I had some serious heartbreaks but really started to learn my way and stand up for myself. I tragically lost a boyfriend/ someone I considered to be a best friend/ someone I confided in. This was a breaking point for me. I went back to the way I was before. Everything I worked so hard to get through emotionally fell apart. I was pretty much lost. 

I had a few years of trying to just work on myself. I didn't want any sort of a relationship again until I knew it would be just right. I couldn't handle anymore heart breaks or any more jerks. 

I was coaching cheerleading for a local high school since I graduated college. Every summer the high school had a reunion for all graduating classes at a bar at the Jersey shore. My girlfriends that I coached with and I went every year to support the cheerleading a football team (and because it was a good time). One of my best friends that ended up coaching with me eventually, also went to the high school that we coached at which made it even more fun to go to this reunion because we would meet up with old friends of hers. 

The day of the reunion had come and I was pumped. All you can drink and we were walking distance from where we were staying...yessss! 

So we were at the outside bar and it was my turn to buy us girls a round. I went up to the round bar and was waiting (forever) for my drinks. So I start scoping the crowd in my typical nosey fashion and see a guy across the way looking at me. Immediately my face turns red and I dart my eyes to find my friend. She comes up and asks what's wrong, I get our drinks and say "there's a hot guy across the bar and he was looking this way and I geeked out". She looks, and says who Chris? I know him from high school, I'll introduce you. 

Hold up! I immediately pump the breaks and say hell no and before I ever have a chance to explain how I'm feeling drunk and nervous and red faced and geeky, there he is giving her a hug and a hi. All of a sudden a become a mute. 

They chat for a little and he starts directing all of his attention to asking me questions about me. I find my voice, notice he's a little tipsy too (thank god) and start really hitting it off. We ended out hanging out all night that night. He walked me to where I was staying and have me a goodnight kiss. We exchanged numbers and parted ways. 

All night I couldn't stop thinking about him. And how I really hoped he'd call me. The next morning he did. We hung out 4 times that week and each week after that. 

We started officially and exclusively dating after a month. We were engaged in just over a year, married just over a year after that, and pregnant just a week after that. 

I knew the moment I met him I wanted him in my life longer. I knew a few months into dating that longer really meant forever. 

Chris is my Lobster and I love him with all my heart through ups and downs and all arounds. He's my best friend, the best daddy, and he makes me a better person. He is caring and kind and although he is my opposite in many things, he is all the right things for me. He was just what I needed and just when I needed it the most. We will be married for two years on Monday and I love looking back on all the memories we've made and thinking of all of those still to come. 

I love you Chris Keller.  always have and always will. Xoxoxox