Sunday, July 6, 2014

My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard

Ok, so let me start out by saying that I am well aware that I will probably catch crap for this post from at least ten people but it's my blog and I need to get this out there because I am just irked. 

I HATE being categorized. Do not lump me in with a stereotype. I'm a blonde Pollock but I'm not an idiot. I'm a girl and somehow I'm not a bad driver. I went to Penn State for 4 years and could honestly give two shits about the football. I'm a stay at home mom, but we are not loaded and it's hard work every single solitary day. Now for the kicker, I breast fed my baby but I had ZERO desire to do it in public. Everrrrrrrrrr.....

Lately I feel like every single social media site I belong to I can't go a day with out seeing #normalizebreastfeeding or a number of other similar hashtags, punny articles and pictures of moms breastfeeding and complaining about the struggle. I get it. It sucks when your little one all of a sudden is mega hungry and you have to figure out what you're going to do and where and if your going to catch looks or comments from other people for just trying to do something that is natural and essential to your baby living. It sucks. 

But I'll be honest with you, I NEVER once thought about whipping out my boobs in a public place or even in front of my family no matter how much more convenient it would have been. The thought of a possible nip slip in front of my Uncle, Dad or any other man, stranger or child for that matter makes my stomach turn and could completely stress me out to the point of screwing up my supply. It's not for everyone! I hate the pushy comments I'm seeing and woman that are acting as if they are heros and standing up for all breastfeeding women by posting pictures of what I enjoyed as my personal one on one bonding time with my sweet girl. It was something personal to me.

I Loved breastfeeding. I sometimes miss it and wish I could have done it for longer. It was me and Sophie's time together. Just us two. And no one could take that time from me and the special bond that we had. But I stopped producing around 5-6 months. And I already know what some of the pushier opinionated moms will should have eaten this that or the other, you should have pumped, you should have switched sides, you should have stuck with it. Well guess what, I didn't just stop for me. I originally was over supplying and had stored enough to get another month or two of just breast milk for Sophie. But I tried everything towards the end. You name it I tried it, I talked with lactation consultants, other nursing moms, and read 101 different articles. It just wasn't in the cards for me and when Sophie started loosing weight and screaming uncontrollably after each feeding because I was no longer getting so much as an ounce out of my one side, I had to supplement. Because although I loveeeeee when people say "don't worry your body makes just enough for her" I don't always believe it and don't care what articles you can send me to support it because I lived it. Along with other pregnancy issues that multiple doctors weren't able to give me a solid diagnosis about I feel like sometimes shit just happens. 

What I do believe is every women is different. We all become women at different times in our life, we all have children at different times and in different ways and have to go to different means to get them. So don't you dare judge me. Don't group me into a category. And don't piss me off by telling me what I did wrong. 

We as mothers are all learning and doing our best for out babies. Do the moms who choose formula love their babies less? NO! They just are doing what they feel is best for them and their baby. 

I'm not going to hate on you for your posts and pictures, I think it's a beautiful thing and if you don't mind sharing that with others go ahead. But there's nothing I can't stand more than hearing some one say "if it was breasts on a magazine cover or a trashy girl on tv it would be ok". Really though? Is that ok? I don't think that comparing a beautiful nurturing act to the skanks that have no respect for themself dressing like hookers as twerking on TV is really getting your point across. Because that's not ok in a wholeeee different way. I'm no prude but I do think that a bit of modesty and keeping your lady bits to yourself is a normal thing. And the ladies that are complaining saying that men also have nipples and why can they show theirs but we can't......grow up. If I walked into your house for a pool party and took my top off in front of your significant other with no warning, would you think ohhhh well a nipples a nipple? Yes breasts have been sexualized. But not's been like this foreverrrrrrr. 

 I don't have a problem with friends of mine feeding their babies in front of me at all, but I do have sympathy anxiety and am uncomfortable when it's announced and just boom happens right there in front of others that may not be comfortable with it but are too nice to speak up and offend. If you're that comfortable with strangers, good for you. No seriously, good for you I applaud your self confidence. 

Bottom line is, we need to stick together as women. I'm well aware of all the "breast is best" benifits and I would breastfeed again in a heartbeat. But have respect for those that don't want to! Don't be a bully, it only makes the message you're preaching look negative and is completely contradictory to what others with good intentions are trying to do. Post away if you want to with all the feeding pics you want. But don't turn this beautiful act into a hate fest and feminist bashing session for everyone who's views are different than yours. I don't want to be categorized as a cranky feminist just because I chose to do what was my decision and breast feed my girl. 

Promote breastfeeding as exactly what it is, a loving nurturing natural act that is beneficial to your babies growth and development. 

Ok, be nice. To each their own. 😊