Thursday, September 11, 2014

Fairwell city life

While doing a final wall through on our home in Philly, it was hard not to get slightly sentimental. 

I met Chris shortly after he purchased his house on Disston Street. He was living in his parents basement while he completely gutted and renovated his new bachelor pad. Then he met me and decided he wanted me to be an active part of making decisions on how to paint, decorate, and redo everything because "someday it will be our home." 

So I gave my input, I opened up Home Depot and Lowes credit cards and jumped head first into building this house and our relationship all at the same time. 

There were tons of fights because renovating absolutely sucks and is so much work. But we got through it all together and not too far down the road Chris proposed to me.  

I started treating the house even more like my own. We had parties there for everything, Hurricanes, hot days, cold days, holidays. We made some awesome memories in that house. 

Just a few weeks shy of 2 years ago I moved in, traditionally right after we were married and got back from the honeymoon. Just a few weeks after that I found out that I brought a baby home as our souvenir from St. Lucia. 

-Panic Mode- 

We made a beautiful nursery for Sophie to come home to. And a ton of her firsts were experienced in that house. First talk, crawl, walk, holidays, snow, summer, and more. 

As much as I complained about things like the neighbors hanging their unders on our fence or too much noise, that was our house we built together for our family. We made that house our home. It served it's purpose, it kept us safe and it's where my family started. 

Thank you Disston Street for all that you were for us ❤️

2 down - a lifetime to go ❤️

Today is my 2nd Wedding Anniversary! (Actually no- I wrote this on our anniversary and totally forgot to post)

I really can't believe how fast this has all gone. When asked what I want for our anniversary I really had no clue what to ask for. I'm so incredibly happy. I have an sweet loving husband, an Amazing family, the best friends, a new beautiful dream house and I really feel like I'm all set. All I want or need is right here ❤️

I do wish I could have the wedding all over again because it was THE best party ever that not a single snag could bring me down ❤️

For an over view you can check out my blog post from last year here- 

But I leave you with my favorite picture that our expressions sum up the whole day and I'm lucky enough to say that today I feel exactly this way still - overjoyed! 

My lobster ❤️

My husband Chris is my lobster. I love him with all of my heart and was so lucky to have him come into my life when I needed him the most. 

I have had boyfriends on and off since I was very young. Some good, some bad, some indifferent. In high school I really struggled with knowing my worth and having a really low self esteem, depression and anxiety issues but with a cheery exterior to try and cover what was really going on inside. I was lied to, I was cheated on and just overall had my kindness taken advantage of on more than one occasion. 

College years I continued to struggle and go for the wrong type of guys that would let me down time and time again and break my heart. I had some serious heartbreaks but really started to learn my way and stand up for myself. I tragically lost a boyfriend/ someone I considered to be a best friend/ someone I confided in. This was a breaking point for me. I went back to the way I was before. Everything I worked so hard to get through emotionally fell apart. I was pretty much lost. 

I had a few years of trying to just work on myself. I didn't want any sort of a relationship again until I knew it would be just right. I couldn't handle anymore heart breaks or any more jerks. 

I was coaching cheerleading for a local high school since I graduated college. Every summer the high school had a reunion for all graduating classes at a bar at the Jersey shore. My girlfriends that I coached with and I went every year to support the cheerleading a football team (and because it was a good time). One of my best friends that ended up coaching with me eventually, also went to the high school that we coached at which made it even more fun to go to this reunion because we would meet up with old friends of hers. 

The day of the reunion had come and I was pumped. All you can drink and we were walking distance from where we were staying...yessss! 

So we were at the outside bar and it was my turn to buy us girls a round. I went up to the round bar and was waiting (forever) for my drinks. So I start scoping the crowd in my typical nosey fashion and see a guy across the way looking at me. Immediately my face turns red and I dart my eyes to find my friend. She comes up and asks what's wrong, I get our drinks and say "there's a hot guy across the bar and he was looking this way and I geeked out". She looks, and says who Chris? I know him from high school, I'll introduce you. 

Hold up! I immediately pump the breaks and say hell no and before I ever have a chance to explain how I'm feeling drunk and nervous and red faced and geeky, there he is giving her a hug and a hi. All of a sudden a become a mute. 

They chat for a little and he starts directing all of his attention to asking me questions about me. I find my voice, notice he's a little tipsy too (thank god) and start really hitting it off. We ended out hanging out all night that night. He walked me to where I was staying and have me a goodnight kiss. We exchanged numbers and parted ways. 

All night I couldn't stop thinking about him. And how I really hoped he'd call me. The next morning he did. We hung out 4 times that week and each week after that. 

We started officially and exclusively dating after a month. We were engaged in just over a year, married just over a year after that, and pregnant just a week after that. 

I knew the moment I met him I wanted him in my life longer. I knew a few months into dating that longer really meant forever. 

Chris is my Lobster and I love him with all my heart through ups and downs and all arounds. He's my best friend, the best daddy, and he makes me a better person. He is caring and kind and although he is my opposite in many things, he is all the right things for me. He was just what I needed and just when I needed it the most. We will be married for two years on Monday and I love looking back on all the memories we've made and thinking of all of those still to come. 

I love you Chris Keller.  always have and always will. Xoxoxox

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Oh, you're a stay at home mom?

A year ago this past Tuesday I quit my job. 

I worked for a Pharmaceutical packaging company for just over 5 years when Chris and I made the biggest decision I've had to make. I've worked a job since I was 13. Everything from pushing carts and bagging groceries, to waitress, to babysitting, to retail, to Beer Rep, to copier sales, to Pharma and so much more in between. I never took breaks for school or summer, I always had something lined up. I once went a 2 week period with no job and I was crazy. I need to be kept busy. I literally was reorganizing the refridgerator every day and making everyone crazy. 

I got pregnant on our honeymoon Unexpectantly. I wouldn't want it any other way looking back on it but at the time it was a bit of a panic - holy cow now what do we do. We are planners and this set us into a frantic financial freak out. We also both worked crazy crazy hours. 

Chris works from how but travels often and works more 10-12 hour days than 8 hour ones. I had just finished a year as a sales manager at my Pharma company and was managing 12 people which took up a ton of my time and often required me to work 12 hour days and weekends not to mention my commute that was an hour plus out of the city. 

As time went by and I got bigger we still had no child care plan. The day cares in the suburbs were a fortune and the ones in the city made us nervous (and still weren't all that affordable). We had just started looking into home child care when my company started to restructure. I was given an opportunity to double my staff and add another tier below me. This was huge for me. I worked so hard to get where I was and as much as I wasn't happy with where my company was heading this was too good to be true that I was finally becoming the Woman in Management in a corporate workspace that I was told all my college career could never happen..... And that's when Chris and I started talking about me staying home being the best option.

I had issues with my pregnancy and became ridiculously protective and head over heels in love with this little lady growing inside. Financially me staying home made the most sense since day are would cost almost as much as I was making once travel costs were included. Timing wise I knew that if I continued to work I would end up seeing Sophie 1-2 hours max per day during the week. That thought made me want to throw up. Chris and I discussed how we plus really have no way of picking her up or dropping her off at day care on the days where put schedules conflicted, after all there were some days where we already weren't seeing much of each other. 

No decisions were made and then Sophie arrived. I never wanted to leave her. I instantly was willing to give up everything I worked so hard to get in the working world. Sometimes pride just isn't even comparative to the pride you have in your children. 

It was hard to leave my company, my work friends, and the money that I know I may never earn like that again. It's hard not having expendable income, it's hard not talking to adults everyday, it's hard not just buying whatever I want with out scrounging for coupons and sales. But I've never been materialistic or cared about name brands so it really isn't all that bad. I had my fun and now it's just a different kind of fun. 

I've noticed there's this ridiculous Stepford housewives stigma around being a stay at home mom that when I tell people I automatically feel like I'm being judged. This isn't easy. You don't know me. You don't know what I've given up and what I continue to give up everyday. I'm not having lemonade in pitchers on my porch while my child colors quietly with her crayons. I'm not wearing dresses, curling my hair and doing my makeup just so everyday and going to museums together. I'm in sweatpants from college and haven't bought myself anything since maternity clothes. My girl is crazy hyper and I take her to the free sprinkler park as much as possible to try and tire her out so she will take a nap through my husbands conference call that you can hear throughout our echoing tiny house. I'm trying to come up with ideas on how to create, innovate and sell all while watching my tiny hyper tot so that I can have some extra cash to be able to buy her cute clothes and toys. Don't judge  me. Everyone has a story. 

I love every single day waking up with Sophie and watching her grow. I'd give it all up again over and over for her. She's the only thing I need anymore. This is the best job I've ever had and ever will. 

Monday, August 18, 2014

Sophie's outfit of the day on Saturday

Saturday was a day of really fun times and really fun outfits for Miss Sophie. 

We've been very fortunate to be a brand rep for @enchantedbowshop on Instagram for the past two months. This month she sent us these two gorgeous headbands to model 😍 

Love her shop so much! We can't wait to order a few Halloween ones from her ❤️ 

Later on, our trailer park at the shore had a seafood bake with a DJ which Sophie just loved! She wore our favorite shirt brand - @trulysanctuary on Instagram (also on etsy) and her Little Nugget Republic trailer pants (@littlenuggetrepublic on IG) and her Garden of Arden headband that we won in a giveaway of hers on IG (@gardenofarden1 or also on etsy). 

Such a great weekend with the family 💗

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Sophie's Outfit Of the Day

Today is a big day of packing, packing and more packing. And snacking. So we are keeping it casual but cool. 

Sophie helped with this box....

Unicorn onesie from Trendy Treehouse - @trendytreehouse 
Harem pants from Bitty Baby - @bittybaby_ 
And pink and gold sparkle bow from Enchanted Bow shop - @enchantedbowshop


Summer time and the livin's easy

27 days until moving day. Yikes. 

It's coming up fast and we are finally starting to show positive signs as far as selling our current house goes. Say a little prayer for us. 

In the meantime, I am actively trying to take it easy as much as possible. On weekends specifically. But with all the packing, the inspections, etc. I need to remember it is summer and Sophie deserves to soak up every ounce of fun in the sun that she can. 

Soon we will be stuck inside with toys and tv (but in our new awesome house) and I'll be trying so hard to keep her entertained. So for now, packing and house things will be a naptime and bedtime activity for me and Chris and we are going to love up this summer as much as possible while we can. 

Moving is STRESSFUL. I'm glad to have Sophie to remind me to take a break and balance our fun with the work. 💗 

Robin Williams

I'm so deeply hurt by the death of Robin Williams. He was truly talented and brought a great light into this world and to have it turned out in such a way just is all wrong. 

Being a kid from the 80s-90s I consider Robin to be a huge portion of my childhood that opened my imagination to animals running free in the suburbs in Jumanji, to the feeling that you can always live out your inner child like Peter Pan in Hook, and the endless laughs and lines that I still pull out to this day in Mrs. Doubtfire. 

Depression is a horrible horrible disease. Unlike other illnesses, it can't always be seen. In fact, a large portion of people that suffer from depression use a happy face and humor as a defense mechanism. I've suffered from depression and anxiety for a huge portion of my life. No one would ever know it. I have memories as far back as grade school to where I knew that I just wasn't ok. And not just sad or moody. And I wish I would have known how to express it better from early on and asked for real help. But I was always known as the happy girl. Always with a smile on my face, even when inside I was a mess. I still have times when I struggle and I thank God everyday that I have family and friends that support me and understand my troubles. And most importantly, I'm thankful that I spoke up, let it be known and got help so that I can now see that I'm not alone. 

Poor poor Robin lost his battle in the worst way, that will impact many. To see some one that brought so much happy to the world, leave on such a sad note just hurts.  I'm sad that there will be no new works of his talent for Sophie to grow up with. I'll be sure to teach her how great he truly was. 

Depression is real. And you never know what battle someone is fighting on the inside. And don't be afraid to speak up about your inner demons, get help because even though you may not know it, there are people that think the world of you. 

Be free genie ❤️

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Cat Ladies! Free Sample of Nutrish by Rachel Ray

Hey ladies! If you are a fellow cat lady you're going to want to head over and like the Nutrish for Cats Facebook page!

Not sure how long this is available but you can get a sample of chicken or salmon for your little fur babies! Click above to take you there!

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Packing with baby

I hope to have some helpful tips for packing for a big move with a baby once this is all said an done. As of right now all I have is......get a babysitter.